Thursday, December 21, 2006
Why hello! It is me Billy! It's been a great couple of years. My girlfriend had a baby, Jack. Fatherhood has really changed me, actually. I mean, how can a child be that energetic? Was I that energetic as a child? I remember as a kid I would jump on the walls and pretend I was Spiderman. This time Jack wants to be Superman and I don't support that. I mean come on, SUPERMAN? At least Spiderman knew what he was doing. But whatever, kids can be kids. Christmas is coming up and I still don't know what to get for Jack as a Santa present. Perhaps a Spiderman cartoon? A Spiderman costume? Maybe even Spiderman himself.
What music are you listening to right now?
Answer: Oh yes, that question must always be asked. Right now I'm listening to a Scottish(!!!) musician and journalist Momus. He's very clever, actually. He has an eyepatch! I'm sure you would love him just for the eyepatch alone! Hit him up, he's grrrrrrrrreat!
Yes, this is indeed me being sexy once again. I just can't help it. Can you help being sexy crossing your arms? I THOUGHT NOT. No wonder girls are just dropping when I walk past them. YEs, it is because I am crossing my arms and giving them a smoldering face. Girls just MELT before my eyes when I do that. Sometimes I just don't understand women.
Posted at 09:13 pm by billyismyboy_d
Friday, March 11, 2005
I'm sorry that I have to write this. My creative energy towards maintaining this site has gone dry. I feel as if this site is a job, and not something for enjoyment. I have to move on...in ways of which I do not know. I truly am sorry. Maybe I will come back to this, but I don't know. I WILL keep the blog up so you can read past entries.
This was very hard for me to write, since I'll be losing a loyal fanbase.
Posted at 09:28 pm by billyismyboy_d
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Hello there. I've been very busy as you all know. Geez, when was the last time I updated? Elijah really got to me. I mean, Elijah, what were you thinking, giving me that ugly underwear?? I don't even like ducks, much less swans!! Okay, maybe swans, but really ducks freak me out. Dom, I know you are really successful on Lost. Well, actually not ON Lost, since you are a drug addict. Lame-o. Alright, who saw Seed of Chucky? I know I did. BECAUSE I'M IN IT, DUH. I thought I was very swell in it. Very swell indeed. Anyone want any Cheetos? I don't like them very much. I like whiskey better.
I DON'T KNOW WHO THESE OLD PEOPLE ARE BUT I KNOW THAT I'M WEARING A BEANIE. I LOOK VERY VERY GANGSTA, YO. One of the old people has a fro. Not to be mean, but man, he needs to get a haircut. Fast.
I'm looking at a witch. She's yelling some curses at me. But what the heck did I do? I'm just standing here being Scottish, so why in the world would someone yell curses at me? I think I'm going to go cry.
Yes, Dom sure likes the women. I'm just sitting here being freaked out because women are hitting on me. I mean, I know that I'm super sexay, but whatever. I'm taken.
I LIKE THE RUGBY!! RUGBY IS MY LIFE!! ACTUALLY MY LIFE IS PRETTY SWEET RIGHT NOW. OKAY OMGWTFBBQ.
Posted at 11:44 am by billyismyboy_d
Sunday, August 29, 2004
Went to the insane asylum because I attacked Dom with my toaster. Just kidding. But I really did attack Dom with my toaster. He was making some toast and the toaster was smoking and he was freaking out. What a pansy. Then we went outside for some tea and stuff. So yesterday was my birthday. I got some stuff from fans, too!
-Whitney Houston Goes Wild DVD
-Barbra Streisand is Crazy CD
-A mask (I don't need one, because I already have a mask which I'm wearing right now. Yes, it is my face.)
-A little girl's bicycle
I appreciate the gifts! They are fantastic. Question: why in heaven's name are you doing a chuckie movie?!?! Answer: Well, Brad kind of uhhh, blackmailed me into doing it. They said they were looking for Scottish people to play it, and Brad Dourif thought of me. Of course, because of my scottishness. I said I didn't want to conform to his life. He said I have to do it or he will tell my deepest darkest secret. Oh no, I hope he doesn't. He can't possibly know that I live in the basement of my sisters house and have a secret stash of weapons of mass destruction...oh wait, that's Saddam Hussein. Silly me! -Billy
Blogdrive is stupid and won't let me post pictures, so you have to click on the link.
I have to hide behind this poster because I'm afraid people will see what Dom drew on me while I was sleeping. Lots of stuff, too. With Sharpie. Isn't that grand? I think it is. I don't know how I became the squishy. What is the squishy, anyway? Am I? Am I really??? HOW COME I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS???
Posted at 03:53 pm by billyismyboy_d
Saturday, July 17, 2004
So I am going to Comic-Con. Comicy comicy comic-con. Last time I went There were so many fangirls screaming either my name or Dom's name. I guess some of them were confused. But that's okay, well...actually it's not. I mean, he was born in Berlin. I was born in Glasgow. See the difference? PARTY CENTRAL!!! So yesterday I was shopping for deodorant and they didn't have my regular peachy smell kind with the shiny label. So I had to buy that gritty stuff that smelled like eggs. I'd rather smell like eggs than powder, let me tell you. When I wake up in the morning I don't have to make myself eggs because I already have it in my armpits. So basically if it is a hot day, I can make scrambled eggs in my armpits. Sounds delicious. Oh, and I also got myself a new cellphone cover. It is pink and it has Hello Kitty on it. I get all kinds of compliments from it. Only when I go to Chinatown, though. Which is odd really. Question: in light of your lastest movie audition, would you ever do a nude scene? Answer: Well that depends. If the actor/ actress doesn't have eyes that are symmetrical and/or has a speech impediment, I probably wouldn't You wouldn't want to have someone acting out an org*** and yell, "ARGH BELLY!!" over and over again, would you? Plus, they won't be able to see you correctly. You would probably end up laughing at them. Over and over. Then die. And go to hell.
Wow, wasn't expecting that. Orlando gets all the credit. Just because he has bushy eyebrows and can't grow his own chest hair. Why can't the answer be Billy's Boydsauce or Billiam's Boydpot? WHY ORLANDO'S BLOOMERS?? WHY?? -Billy
This is me being panicked on a bed. At my latest audition. Haha, just kidding, I'm just at the Oscars party thing. There was just a big old bed out in the middle of the place for some reason. Who knows why, though. Maybe I was just imagining it. Then I got hit with some sort of gelatinous substance and started to scream. Then I saw a drag queen laughing hysterically at me. Or maybe it was Julia Roberts. In drag.
Posted at 02:01 pm by billyismyboy_d
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Today is the birthday of Billy Boyd Parody!!! First entry was on July 8!!! So as a present to you guys, I will do an entry a day all week! Yay!!
Posted at 12:22 pm by billyismyboy_d
Thursday, June 24, 2004
So this is the day...
Hello there. So I was over at Ian's house and he was talking in some other language. He went into his closet to change into something more comfortable and then he came out of the closet. Oh my goodness. What a coincidence. I went in with him after that to help him choose his clothes. Then we both came out of the closet at the same time. So we went out on the street and 2 seconds after that, Ian fell on his booty. I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants and the Ian was laughing at me and then he peed his pants. It was great fun and then fangitls came along and saw both of us peed. So there we are in our own puddle. So we got up and I guess the fangirls didn't know that we had both peed. I guess they were starstruck. I hope this doesn't get into The National Enquirer or People magazine. Well actually I do hope it does. Then I can laugh at myself! Yay! Okay so I found some little things to write about...
Boxers; Briefs; Commando
Best compliment you've ever received.
Hmm...a while back I was at some sort of midget awards and this midget was like, "Hey, I love the way you walk." I guess I walk like a midget.
Behind the scenes of 'Your Blog' the movie.
Well, this would be directed by Steven Spielberg and Ashton Kutcher would play me. Well maybe not Ashton Kutcher. Keanu Reeves. No, he says things weird. Sean Connery will play me. Yes, Sean Connery. So the storyline is this. Just improvise things that I would do. Except it has to be crazy. All this will be in Japanese and there will be English over their voices. You know, like Godzilla? I think it's great.
Your Shower Curtain:
If I die today.. How would it happen? Well I don't like talking about my death...but...some guy will come up to me and say "Oy! Give me yer money!" But his "gun" is actually a deck of cards, so I just walk away and he gives me a paper cut and I get an infection and jump in the ocean and then I'll die.
Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours.
Myself. Next question.
Have you ever seen a dead body? Oooh, yes I have. But now the law says I can't touch anything that can be used as a weapon...hoohoo
Have you ever broken a bone? Let's see. One in my ear bone. It was very unfortunate because it was just when I had my peak hearing. Then it was shattered by Elijah playing his awful music too loud. How can you hear the music when it's too loud? I just don't get it. Number next.
Grossest thing you have ever seen. A squirrel eating a cat that was diagnosed with diabetes and obviously had a drug problem. I mean, it had 3 kilos of marijuana in its stomach. Who knows where there is other drugs. The squirrels pupils were dilated too.
How good is your penmanship? Not that good. Example:
This is a guy that works for Billy Boyd Realty. I never knew that people would actually name things that big after me. I never even knew about this realty either. I just did a google search on my name and got it...I like his hair. And his jacket. I want to be him for a day. That would be fantastic.
Posted at 07:24 pm by billyismyboy_d
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Sorry for the lack of updates recently, I kind of was busy with voice-overs for Seed of freakin Chucky. You know, that Jennifer Tilly is making it totally obvious that she wants me. I mean, with her and stealing my eyeliner, Perrier, and refrigerator...I mean, what does she need them for? Uhh...maybe to put in her shrine of me? Along with other such very scottish items like a snippet of my kilt and a lock of my hair she stole from my stylist. Wait, I'm talking about other fan girls. My bad! So I got another fan letter in the mail, this time a postcard:
That's not the only peculiar part. What the person wrote is:
'Ello Billeh! I'm at da Llama Sanctuary here in England! I thought dat you myte lyk da llamas! I wanna ask u a question! Who do you think would win in a fight, a beaver or a moose? I THINK A MOOSE!!! So...i coming 2 your house 2 t-p!! Hahaha
Well I guess I'll answer that question...I think the beaver. The moose at first probably wouldn't see the beaver. Then the beaver does it's little karate chop! And the moose doesn't know what to do. The moose would probably poo on the beaver from fright. That's right, poo. The beaver would recollect itself and then get angry. He would jump on the moose and knaw at its horn thingys so it can collect for its dam. The moose would cry and know it was defeated. Poor moose. So stupid. JUST STOMP ON THE FRIGGIN BEAVER! -Billy
Hehe, this is me when I just woke up. Notice that the lady is laughing or just smiling. Yeah, that's right, she covered me with that makeup. An 8 year old photographer took the picture and put it in a magazine. Darn paparazzi and their masked accomplices!! I hope that lady and that kid thing have a nice life in hell. Because that's where they're going! They just had to indulge in their pleasures. INDULGE. Grr... maybe Dom sent them. That reminds me...Dom once counted how many times I said hilarious in an interview and it came out to be 54 times. Dom is so sneaky, man. Oh well.
Posted at 09:27 am by billyismyboy_d
Friday, April 30, 2004
I am contemplative
So I just got back from doing the Chuckie voice overs. I think you guys will like this. The doll I voice for is really funny. One scene involves him throwing his dad out a window into dog crap. Dog crap, you say? Then he leaves his mom in the refrigerator and she says to the banana, hey, what's shakin? And then the banana's like nothin much yo. Question: What car do you drive? Answer: Well that's quite obvious. I drive an Escalade so I can keep all my ho's in one car. Plus it is totally playa. Pippin driving an Escalade. I never really realized that. I got some nice rims though. They spin. Maybe I can talk to Fitty Cent sometime. -Billy
This is me in my costume for my next film. I decided I needed a serious film role in which I was the main character. I want to be a superstar! I can do a cool hat trick with that, you know. But I can't tell you what I do. Only Dom can know. You might see me do it in the movie. Oh, the movie is called, "The Deep Dark Secret of the Lawn Gnome." Did you see the new layout for my site? In the pictures I'm quite hot.
Posted at 07:28 pm by billyismyboy_d
Saturday, March 13, 2004
I just bought a t-shirt online and it said: I Am What Willis Was Talkin 'Bout. You think it will attract the ladies who don't even know who I am? Methinks it will. Then I took an online test titled, "Are you crazy?" and turns out I am 89 percent crazy. I'm on an online quiz frenzy right now. I'll fill you in on what I got.
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be? brought to you by Quizilla
You're bubblegum!!! You love to have a good time,
and enjoy being around others who feel the same
way. You tend to be the life of the party, and
people like to be around you as much as they
Which kind of candy are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Interesting...very interesting...Q for Billeh: What car do you ride? Answer: Keep this under wraps, I drive a bullet-proof motha truckin Oldsmobile, with V-Tech, and a little monitor that shows where the police are located so I won't have to...run away from fans as much? Hehe...-Billy
I guess I have style. I got next to this pretty girl and said your zipper is unzipped and she was like, hrm? And I was like, haha, and she was like haha and it was a big celebration. See, our arms are in the air like no tomorrow! She needs to use some deodorant though, I've always wondered if celebrities wore deodorant (besides me, I wear deodorant because I'm cool) because the girls don't have the white stuff under their armpits. You know? I don't know. Strange accusations.
Posted at 09:51 am by billyismyboy_d